The Power of Intimacy

A blog about the healing power of intimacy and love by Nicola Foster

10 Tips on how to have healthier arguments

No matter how well you get on, there are going to be times when differences create conflict. If you're relating with honesty and authenticity, it's healthy to feel upset, angry, frustrated and generally let down sometimes. So, it's really important to learn how to have healthier arguments.

When it comes to conflict resolution, good communication is paramount. Instead of letting our feelings take over and losing perspective, it's so helpful to practice listening and really seeing the other person and their side of the story, as well as our own.

If you're looking for some tips on how to have healthier arguments, here are 10 that will really help!

1. Stay in connection

If you want to have a healthier relationship, you need to stay connected. And when it comes to healthy arguments, that means looking at each other. Because it's only when you're looking at the other person that you can observe their body language. This will guide you to act with more empathy and connect more with them.

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Why You Need To Know About John Gottman’s Four Horsemen

 Dr John Gottman has been devoting his research to observing couples since the 1970s. His research not only uncovered patterns of differing behaviour between happy and unhappy couples, but also discovered that most relationship problems (69%) never get resolved, due to differences in personality.

As part of his ongoing research, Gottman discovered how couples create and maintain intimacy and friendship. He could also predict with high accuracy, the likelihood of a couple divorcing or separating, by identifying the four most destructive behaviours within a relationship. These behaviour indicators are referred to as the Four Horsemen.

These Four Horsemen are the negative communication patterns that prevent you from having healthy and productive communication with others.

Most relationships may demonstrate some of these behaviours, but healthy relationships don’t use them very often - and when they do, they make more of an effort to repair them when they’re used. You...

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