A blog about the healing power of intimacy and love by Nicola Foster
Dr John Gottman has been devoting his research to observing couples since the 1970s. His research not only uncovered patterns of differing behaviour between happy and unhappy couples, but also discovered that most relationship problems (69%) never get resolved, due to differences in personality.
As part of his ongoing research, Gottman discovered how couples create and maintain intimacy and friendship. He could also predict with high accuracy, the likelihood of a couple divorcing or separating, by identifying the four most destructive behaviours within a relationship. These behaviour indicators are referred to as the Four Horsemen.
These Four Horsemen are the negative communication patterns that prevent you from having healthy and productive communication with others.
Most relationships may demonstrate some of these behaviours, but healthy relationships don’t use them very often - and when they do, they make more of an effort to repair them when they’re used. You...