The Power of Intimacy

A blog about the healing power of intimacy and love by Nicola Foster

Feeling green-eyed? 7 top tips to help you handle jealousy

Jealousy is destructive. It can lead to arguments, insecurity, frustration and ultimately, deliver the end result you are hoping to avoid - the end of your relationship.

To avoid it all becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy, it will help to invest in learning how to handle jealousy effectively. Here are my top tips to help you do just that.

1: You're not alone

Many people suffer from bouts of jealousy. Naturally, you’re with someone you care about, and you don’t want anyone or anything to jeopardise that. The key is understanding that it is an issue you need to deal with if you’re going to give your relationship the best chance of success.

2: What do you need more of?

Know that jealousy is a form on insecurity. Those jealous feelings are giving you important information if you take the time to observe them. Maybe you want  reassurance from your partner.  Or, that you’re looking for some kind of stronger commitment from your partner. And it may be that...

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Do You REALLY Know How to Touch Your Partner?

Have you gotten out of the habit of touching your partner like you used to?

Hi, I'm Nicola Foster, I'm a Sex and Relationship Therapist and I work with couples who want to reignite intimacy in their lives. In this article I share some of my recommendations on how couples can use touch to reconnect with each other.

Physical connection is something that we all need, and nowhere is it more important than when you’re part of an intimate relationship. We may touch 'out of habit', or got out of the habit of touching altogether. Research tells us that couples who hug or touch regularly have better sex lives, and are happier and healthier.

Touch helps us form closer, more connected relationships. It's one of the main forms of nonverbal communication and when we’re in an intimate relationship we want to feel more connected - making touch a key element of a healthy relationship.

When it comes to intimacy, quality, nourishing touch can provide deeper, more connected feelings than...

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5 tips on how to have a difficult conversation - with awareness

 

Do you need to talk to your partner about an issue - but you're avoiding the difficult conversation? Here are 5 ideas on how to reduce the risk of things escalating into an argument. I'm Nicola Foster. I'm a couples therapist and these are my top tips for an aware, kind, difficult conversation.
 

1. Ensure you're both resourced

 
Don't try and have the conversation when you're tired, hungry, or short of time. Look for a time when you both agree that you are available and feeling resourced enough to talk.
 

2. Agree your timeframe

 
Talk about how long you have for the conversation. Make an agreement about when you will stop, even if you haven't reached any conclusions.  Make a plan for after your conversation to support reconnection. Agree a safe word that you can use if you're concerned about getting overwhelmed. Take a 10 minute break to ground yourself. Take a walking outside if you can, or have a hot drink and read or watch something...
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