The Power of Intimacy

A blog about the healing power of intimacy and love by Nicola Foster

Feeling green-eyed? 7 top tips to help you handle jealousy

Jealousy is destructive. It can lead to arguments, insecurity, frustration and ultimately, deliver the end result you are hoping to avoid - the end of your relationship.

To avoid it all becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy, it will help to invest in learning how to handle jealousy effectively. Here are my top tips to help you do just that.

1: You're not alone

Many people suffer from bouts of jealousy. Naturally, you’re with someone you care about, and you don’t want anyone or anything to jeopardise that. The key is understanding that it is an issue you need to deal with if you’re going to give your relationship the best chance of success.

2: What do you need more of?

Know that jealousy is a form on insecurity. Those jealous feelings are giving you important information if you take the time to observe them. Maybe you want  reassurance from your partner.  Or, that you’re looking for some kind of stronger commitment from your partner. And it may be that...

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10 Tips on how to have healthier arguments

No matter how well you get on, there are going to be times when differences create conflict. If you're relating with honesty and authenticity, it's healthy to feel upset, angry, frustrated and generally let down sometimes. So, it's really important to learn how to have healthier arguments.

When it comes to conflict resolution, good communication is paramount. Instead of letting our feelings take over and losing perspective, it's so helpful to practice listening and really seeing the other person and their side of the story, as well as our own.

If you're looking for some tips on how to have healthier arguments, here are 10 that will really help!

1. Stay in connection

If you want to have a healthier relationship, you need to stay connected. And when it comes to healthy arguments, that means looking at each other. Because it's only when you're looking at the other person that you can observe their body language. This will guide you to act with more empathy and connect more with them.

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5 tips on how to have a difficult conversation - with awareness

 

Do you need to talk to your partner about an issue - but you're avoiding the difficult conversation? Here are 5 ideas on how to reduce the risk of things escalating into an argument. I'm Nicola Foster. I'm a couples therapist and these are my top tips for an aware, kind, difficult conversation.
 

1. Ensure you're both resourced

 
Don't try and have the conversation when you're tired, hungry, or short of time. Look for a time when you both agree that you are available and feeling resourced enough to talk.
 

2. Agree your timeframe

 
Talk about how long you have for the conversation. Make an agreement about when you will stop, even if you haven't reached any conclusions.  Make a plan for after your conversation to support reconnection. Agree a safe word that you can use if you're concerned about getting overwhelmed. Take a 10 minute break to ground yourself. Take a walking outside if you can, or have a hot drink and read or watch something...
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