The 5 Love Languages® by Dr Gary Chapman
Do you struggle to understand and communicate with your partner? Is lockdown adding more pressure? Do you wish your partner would appreciate you more them, but you’re not aren’t sure how to get them to do that? Then you may just find some answers within The 5 Love Languages®.
Dr Gary Chapman introduced the ‘The 5 Love Languages®’ way back in the 1990s. These five languages of love help you to better understand your partner’s needs so that you can strengthen and improve your relationship with each other.
When you want to feel loved and appreciated, it’s not always easy to explain how you expect that to look. Communicating your needs to your partner can be difficult, especially if you’re not sure how to even put it into words. And your partner probably has the same issue too!
The love languages help make it easier for you. They enable you to understand what love personality you are and how this dictates how you want to feel, communicate and express love and appreciation. This takes away the guesswork of trying to work out what each of you is expecting and needing, to feel loved and appreciated.
We all have a combination of each of the following love languages, but there will often be one or two that are our preferred way of communicating love. If you’re looking to strengthen and improve your relationship, here’s a summary of each of the love languages.
Words mean a lot if this is your love language. Compliments, praise, appreciation and ‘I love you’s’ matter and can give your heart a boost. However, as words are so vital to you, you will find negative or hurtful words hurt you more and take a while longer to forgive.
This love language is all about showing how much you love and appreciate your partner. Those little acts of service that you know they would like for you to do (such as emptying the bins, running an errand etc.) will not only help them out and ease their stress levels; it will also really help them feel loved and appreciated.
Receiving gifts isn’t about being materialistic; it’s about showing how well you know someone. Gifts and gestures that show you are thinking about the other person matter - the cost of them is irrelevant, it’s making the effort that counts.
Undivided attention is the language of love here. It’s about dedicating time to enjoy each other's company, having quality conversations and taking part in quality activities together. If you’re not spending quality time together, it can be incredibly hurtful for the person who has this as their love language.
The person who has physical touch as their primary love language wants to feel connected and safe with their partner. Physical contact is how they express love. A kiss, a gentle touch, holding hands, hugs, they all help this person feel physically and emotionally connected and loved by you.
When you understand your own love language, you can better communicate your needs to your partner. This such an important part of a string relationship. Knowing your needs and asking your partner to help you meet them is VITAL! And, that works in return too. By knowing your partner’s preferred style of love, you’ll be able to anticipate their needs and express your love for them in a way that resonates and works for them.
You can find out more about love languages by heading over to The Five Love Languages® website. And if you’re interested in finding out what your love language is, you can take The Five Love Languages® quiz and talk with each other about your results.